Ghosts, bad memories with baggage

Over the years, I have come upon situations in which, I felt that I knew the answers to the questions and how the conversation would go, even without continuing the discussion. Creepy, eh!

Here is what is going on, at least this is my view. In a former relationship, a certain, discussion dance has already occurred, it has some kind of negative pattern to it and it results in a destructive pattern of blame, anger, hurt and a host of un-intended things. In front of me, at this present time is a very vivid ghost. I don't know who it belongs too, but I have seen it before. I just don't know why I see it right now. I fear the discussion dance, because I know it went negative and was destructive. I fear traveling down that road a second time. I may not even realize that this is what is going on, so I feel apprehensive, but have no knowledge of why I do.

If I think my partner, is seeing a ghost, one way I deal with it, when I notice this, is to put on my soft catchers mitt, so I am prepared to catch whatever is thrown at me. The objective is to catch the words and not let them hurt anyone. I don't always know when to grab that glove and in the past, I have missed the fact that this might be the actual issue.

Ghosts rob you of living in the present relationship because they fool you into believing that the ghost is real and the old action is going to occur again, with the same hurt and fallout. Here is the thing, neither of us want to live with a ghost, nor do I wish to allow ,the ghost's of the past, to control my present life.

It remains my duty to be diligent about ridding myself of that old relationship and plant new memories. Every time a ghost is faced down, it gets smaller so you can easily realize that it is a ghost. The problem is when I have not recognized it before as one. That first time is quite difficult, takes time, thought and effort to deal with. Once this is done, it takes time to rebuild the safety net needed for each of us.

There are times that I wish this process was faster, it is not, it takes time for the emotional storm to settle and once the dust has fallen to the floor again, only then can you in fact sweep it up and put it in the dust bin.

[If your confused, you have not had this type of relationship yet. Wait, it will come to you sometime. If you never look for it, you'll never see it either. ]

Cheers - David